Sad, but true...I have big, freaky clown feet.
Also true: My friends and fellow bloggers keep stealing my ideas because I wait too late in the day (or the next day) to post! Today, it was my oldest daughter Krystal, whose big, freaky clown feet didn't fall far from the tree!
So...go ahead and read what Krystal has to say about the horrors of shoe-shopping, then come on back and I will verify that she is telling the truth, however sad and fictitious it will sound to those of you who are normal.
One of these statements is not true:
- I wore size 9 shoes when I was 9, 10's when I was 10, and 11's when I was 11.
- I wept uncontrollably in the days leading up to my 12th birthday.
- I have often wondered (and been ever so thankful!) how someone with size 13 feet would have ever found shoes before the internet age.
- When you look on the internet for women's size 13 shoes, the search engine truly assumes you are a man who has a big pageant coming up.
Let's check the scoreboard...
#2 is the falsehood. It was the six pregnancies that took me from the point where the shoe salesman raises one eyebrow when you ask if he carries your size to the place where you have to suppress the desire to don a disguise when you log onto BigFatFeet.com.
And if the poor selection and the therapy bills weren't bad enough, it evidently costs much, much more to produce footwear of this caliber! (Probably all the extra yardage of materials, I'm guessing.)
That's not to say I haven't cashed in some stocks or mortgaged my firstborn a time or two to get a cute pair of shoes that I needed. These shoes actually weren't very expensive (a rarity!), however it did take me untold hours of internet time to find them! But I was fashionable and comfortable slogging through the rain at my daughter Kayla's wedding in these:
And I think I was in junior high when I last owned a pair of nice boots, but I spent my kids' inheritance to buy these last winter:
But here's the thing: Even when I manage to find a style of shoe I love...even when I can rationalize the expenditure...even when a pair of shoes turns out to be as comfortable as the day is long...
No size 13 shoe is ever cute.
So what's a girl to do?
Turn to purses, of course! Big, preferably colorful, high-impact, beautiful purses! Bring 'em on!
Here's my most recent acquisition, purchased second-hand on facebook after Krystal saw it and tagged me because she KNEW it was destined to be mine!
My daughter Lyndsay was in Chicago, and she texted me just to say that she had passed the Coach store and thought of me...probably thanks to this little number she remembered from my repertoire:
Do I have a point here? Golly...probably not a very good one. A spiritual allegory? Very, very doubtful. Is this just about the most shallow blog post I've ever churned out? Quite likely.
Well, sometimes there are just days like this! But hey, I always have plenty of room in my bag to carry around...well...everything: snacks, my Kindle, various medications. And in the grand scheme of things, a cute pair of pumps really can't hold a candle to being well fed, well medicated, and entertained!
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,
where moths and vermin destroy,
and where thieves break in and steal.
But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where moths and vermin do not destroy,
and where thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.