This is not a surprise to some of you.
In my defense, I do have eight children in the house, seven of whom are being homeschooled to some degree. If I don't keep moving, I sometimes fall asleep...and then I'm just a ridiculously easy target!
Plus, I have quite a few churchy things I'm involved in. I'm a pastor's wife. It's an occupational hazard.
And would you like to hear something really (not) funny? In my unedited early draft of this post, I actually ran down a list of some of the things that keep me busy. If you're a wife, a mom, a homeschooler, or an active church member, you already know exactly the kinds of things that were on that list.
And in reading it, I realized what a status symbol busyness has become.
- Here are all the things I'm juggling!
- What are you doing?
- I'm busy; are you busy?
- My kids are taking underwater basket weaving classes and learning Elvish as a second language...what are your kids involved in?
- Let me check my calendar!
When did it all come to this?!
Granted, I have only been blogging for four days, but I would imagine that you're already tired of hearing about my broken foot.
Trust me...so am I. But one of the many wonderful things about serving God is that He delights in teaching us His wonderful truths through unexpected means. Sometimes He allows us to sort of live a parable.
So, I find myself in a highly unusual situation. I am being made to "lie down in green pastures...beside quiet waters." (Psalm 23:2) This isn't a position I find at all natural. And, if I may be perfectly honest, I have had a real problem with it! I would rather do the laundry myself than wonder if it's being done the way I would do it; I would rather forage to find the perfect snack than have to decide what I want and then send someone to fetch it; I would rather be going to Zumba at the YMCA than sitting here trying to figure out how to reach my computer cord without calling my husband to help me!
And, for the moment, let's not even think about considering the possibility that I might not have had to have yesterday's surgery if I'd been better about resting. Most likely, I would have needed the titanium screw anyway. Almost certainly. Probably.
And when I reached a point of real frustration this afternoon...when I was just plain tired of sitting and bossing people around (and who'd have thought I could EVER get tired of THAT?!), a verse of scripture popped right into my head!
I just love it when that happens...even when I hate it.
The verse was Psalm 46:10a: Be still, and know that I am God.
I responded to this Word by taking a nap so I wouldn't have to think about it. But when I woke up, it was still there...AND it had brought friends!
Psalm 37:7 says, "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him."
Exodus 14:14 is the awesome reminder that "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Well, alrighty then. What am I supposed to do with this?
Let me be clear...I'm not saying that God broke my foot so that He could put me into a season of rest so that He could have my less-divided attention. But can He use my brokenness to do just that? Yes...He can. He does it all the time. Whether it's my foot or my heart, He can take the painful circumstances of life and turn them into something that can be used for His glory. It's up to me to let Him do it, though. And it starts with my being quiet enough to hear that still, small voice calling me to sit at His feet and listen.
I can either go through this and have nothing to show for it but a piece of permanent body hardware...or I can go through it in a way that deepens my walk with Him. Gee...I don't know. Seems pretty clear to me!
So in this evening's hours of stillness (such as it is with eight kids in the house), I have committed to let God use these weeks of relative motionlessness to refine me. Beth Moore, one of my favorite Bible teachers, has said that it's impossible to do 10,000 things to the glory of God. I think He and I are going to spend some time whittling together during the next several weeks.
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30